Bombshell Batcholerette Party
by Prisma-Roses
Summary: Tamora is not a girly girl, she just happened to want to get married. But when Felix decides to send the Nicelander women over to Hero's duty for a nice, fun Batcholerette party. Tamora gets a little on edge, thinking things would no go planned. And things, in fact, do not go as Tamora planned.


Sergeant Tamora Jean Calhoun was not a girly girl. She was woman of the marines. And the marines rarely had many womanly traits that came with it. It was a sad but true statement, but the Sergeant could not have minded. She was fine with what she was programmed to do. Protect and fight the cybugs.

Tamora jean Calhoun however, did not plan on getting married.

Remarried that was, she knew very well that she was supposed to never be happy with anyone ever again. It was her purpose, her code, and her awful memory. But she met someone, someone who was small, and polite, kind, adorable even, and in no way resembling her in the slightest. Someone she didn't deserve. But how she managed to fall head over heels with Fix it Felix jr. was a mystery that she would never figure out. And later she decided that it was something she never wanted or cared to figure out.

Tamora loved Felix, and she did not care if it killed her, she was getting married to that little pipsqueak and that was that. Screw the code. She would find a way.

Tamora Jean Calhoun was not a girly girl, and she defiantly did not want to the center of attention. And especially not from the nicelander women. She did not want to do this at all. She did not want or need a bathcolerette party. But Felix insisted, he was convinced they would become good friends. She should have seen in coming from the old fashioned handyman, but Tamora didn't tell him that they were as different as ice and fire.

She was currently trying to spruce up her best in her quarters, she had jumped out of the shower and with a long white robe wrapped around her slender frame she tried her best with the little makeup she had. These small women, from what she had seen, were always gussied up and nice looking. And they were petite and graceful, quiet and reserved. Tamora was reckless and loud, whatever she didn't like she shot first and asked questions later. She would scare these poor women to death just with her seemingly permanent sneer on her lips.

But for Felix, she would do it. She wanted them to like her, and she wanted to like them. But, so far, no luck.

Tamora sighed and threw down the eyeliner, her look was too fierce. She needed a softer look.

Calhoun took a break from that too clear her thoughts of presentation to conquer the next task. Putting on some presentable clothes. She hadn't the slightest idea how she was going to pull this off. She hadn't a dress in her wardrobe, except her wedding dress of course.

A small but humorous knock resembling 'shave and a haircut' sounded at her door and the Sergeant's heart almost leapt in her throat before she recognized it. She rolled her eyes with a small and called to it.

"Doors open, President Cavity."

One of her men opened the door carefully, saluting her as the little sugar rush President skipped into her quarters, wearing her usual duds, but with added princess crown for the occasion.

"how'd ya know it was me, Sarge?"

"My men would rather be eaten by a cybug than do that song and dance at the door." She rose and nodded for the solider escort to at ease.

He nodded and turned to Vanellope.

"Anything else, Miss President?"

"Naahh, that'll be all, chum!" She waved her little hand along with a cute little curtsey. Tamora saw a small smile grow as the solider left, closing the door behind him.

"Looks like your making my men go soft. You want us to fall in battle, Von Schweetz?" The girl glitched up on the chair next to the vanity as Tamora turned to retake her seat in front of the mirror.

"Hey, it's not my fault 'm so adorable!" The girl propped her elbows up and fluttered her raven lashes.

"well I wish some of that would rub off on me, gumdrop." Tamora sighed roughly as she ruffled the girl's hair, "Those little dutchesses aren't going to be impressed by gunpowder and lead."

"Awe, c'mon Sarge, they aren't so bad."

"That's because they like you, you're all button nose and big ol' pupils."

"Why do you care what they think?"

"I don't. But Fix-it does. I want to at least not make it a complete failure." The commander muttered with a slight grimace.

The Sergeant attempted to put the make up on again, deciding to go ahead and go with her regular look, just not as much. At least she would get points for it being a more natural look.

The candy girl shrugged and shoved her hands in her hoodie's pockets, "Listen Sarge, I don't like hammer time cares about that. Ralphie says he loves ya! Like, a loooooootttt" she giggled at the silly thought of it.

Tamora scoffed, but couldn't hide her red "honeyglows."

"Don't I know it…."

"Stinkbrain says he talks about ya all the time, so if he likes ya that much, Seargent booger brain, then I say you should just be yourself and forget them. That's what I always did." The girl smirked and rocked on her heels.

Tamora smiled and poked her, causing her to glitch and fall back in her seat. They both laughed.

"Thanks, President Peppermint. Tell me something I don't know."

"Oohhh! I almost forgot!" the girl giddily replied, reaching up and taking off her red, shiny crown. She held it out with a triumphant grin.

"Happy almost marriage daaaayyy!"

Tamora looked at it with a raised brow, then up at Vanellope.

"What do you want me to do with it?"

"Wear it, Doi! I heard somewhere that you're supposed to be the center of attention, so I figured, might as well wear it! I always am when I do. So lower head please!"

"That's fine, kiddo." Calhoun said. Not wanting to look sillier than she already was going to be.

Vanellope pouted and within a few minutes, Calhoun reluctantly growled and allowed the Sugar Rush racer to place the crown through her blonde bangs and on her head.

"Aha! Now rise my silly Seargent!" she laughed and Tamora rolled her eyes, fixing the crown so her bangs could half cover her eyes once again.

A soft knock at the door caused Tamora to bolt in her seat from nerves. They're here? She wasn't even dressed yet.

"Space invaders!" She hissed and hopped up from her chair, sending it toppling over, Vanellope glitched down just in time to catch it as to not alert the people at the door.

"Well do ya want me to get it?!" Vanellope rasped, a little unimpressed as Calhoun flung open her dresser.

"Not yet! Not Yet!" She snapped back, digging threw all her clothes. She had to settle with what she could grab and she then bolted into her bathroom.

"Sarrrge!" Vanellope called as another knock sounded. A little louder, it was one of her men's knocks.

"Stall them, Von Schweetz!" She said, annoyed as she shut the door behind her.

The girl sighed but put on her biggest smile, running to the door to open it.

Meanwhile, Tamora plopped the clothes on the sink counter, muttering to herself to calm herself down. She really hated how nervous she was, for no reason really. Why did she care so much about what those people thought of her?

She tried to block out the voices coming from the other side of her door once her soilder left and they were alone. She tried to calmly sort through her clothes. Trying to find something to wear.

"Hello there, Mary. President Vanellope Von Schweetz at your service!"

"Oh, well hello Vanellope dear. Are uh, you hear by yourself?"

"In a terrible game like this?" came another small voice. Raising a few others to ask questions and gossip.

"Where is Felix's fiancé?"

Tamora took a deep breath, pulling on a tank top, her dog tags clicking on her chest.

"Ohh, Tammy'll be out in a minute…she…uh, wants to look her best you know." Vanellope chuckled.

Tamora pulled on the best looking kaki's in the pile and pulled on a black jacket. Taking a look in the mirror, she sneered at her reflection, at her dog tags dangling at her chest, at the crown, at her make up.

This was going to be a disaster.

She was just going to have to accept it, and Vanellope was right. Felix would be a little disappointed, but he would never leave her over something as silly as this.

With a deep breath, she stepped out of her bathroom door, she made sure to close it fast as to show the mess of clothes she made. She put on her best smile,

"Hello, ladies….."

The small women who were now crowding her room glanced up at the tall Seargent. They all were, as usual, dressed their best with frilly dresses and hats and all that. Tamora actually thought they looked a little better. She should have felt flattered but because of her current situation, it made her a little angry.

While the others continued to stare at her, probably judging her outfit by the looks of it. Mary, the only one she really knew the name of, came forward with a small tin in her hand. She shuffled over and Tamora had to lean down to meet her.

"How are you dear? You seem very well off, I thought we would show out gratitude and welcome with this." She pushed the tin in her hands, it smelled of apples and it was warm.

"It's an apple pie I made, I didn't know what you liked, so I just made Felix's favorite." She giggled, "I hope that will do."

Tamora stared blankly at it, surprised and this time, really flattered. She was not expecting-

Vanellope loudly cleared her throat from her seat on her bed(that was actually made up for once) and Tamora shook her head, smiling awkwardly and finally answering.

"uhm, yes, thank-thank you. This will be fine….as long as Fix-it doesn't eat it firt you know." She laughed but then realized she was the only one. She saw Vanellope stop her snicker when they both noticed the nicelander's confused(some a little angry looking) stares. Obviously not liking any jokes mentioning their hero.

Tamora cleared her throat and rose, nodding.

"Just, yes, thank you." Mary gave her a kind smile and shuffled back into the fray of the women.

As Tamora set the pie on her dresser, Vanellope glitched next to her on the chair, nudging her.

"smoooooth." The girl giggled and Tamora shot her glare before the raven haired girl glitched back on the floor.

"Alrighty, ladies and more ladies, let's all head down to tappers if we are gonna get this show on the road!" Vanellope said, obviously taking the lead as Tamora composed herself.

"Von Schweetz it right, I'll go get my gun."

"Gun?!" Some of the nicelanders screeched and then started to get uneasy and jumpy. Tamora shook her hands in response, trying to restore order.

"No, I have to. It's for our-well, your, safty. Cybugs and all, some might go haywire."

"But, how come? The arcade is closed is it not?"

"Well….The bugs don't know they're in a game." Tamora scooted to her pistol again, "May need it…."

"Oh, I never thought Felix would go for someone so…reckless."

"We could get hurt."

"This game is too dangerous for him to come into."

"Ugh, we should have never come. She doesn't even dress for guests."

Tamora rolled her eyes as she turned, grabbing her gun. She wasn't going to risk it no matter what they said.

Speak of the devil, clanging of metal and blasters going off with surprised, manish yells made everyone jump, Calhoun whipped around as a screech was heard outside her door. She knew that screech like the back of her hand.

Cybug.

"oh my what was that?" Mary muttered.

"Get away from the door!" Tamora yelled, stomping over to it, pistol drawn.

The nicelanders yelped and scrambled away, doing as the commander told. Some whispering worried words. Vanellope, being curious followed Tamora closer to the door.

Tamora causiously leaned her ear on the cool wood door, listening for any more screeches or shrieks. She heard more muffled and disorted yells from her men, and blasters going off. Suddenly the knob turned and Tamora pulled the gun up point blank as the door was pulled open, all females in the room, except Tamora of course, jumped at the entry but it was no bug they saw. It was a man in armor, looking freaked and wild eyed with black five o'clock shadow.

"Markowski!" Tmaora growled, lowering her gun, she stomped her foot once he didn't listen, too busy shaking and freaking out to comprehend, and he straightened up real quick. She didn't see the nicelanders surprised and in awe looks.

"Get it together, Soilder! What is all the hoot and holler out there?!"

"C-Cybug ma'am! Just got loose, must have been leftover from today's last game!"

Tamora immediately grabbed his shirt and dragged him out along with her, she looked down the halls and dropped him outside once she knew it was safe.

"Where is it?! How did it get out?"

"I-it's near the entrance where the trains are, Seargent. It just came out of nowhere, I don't know where-"She raised a hand to cut him off, and then pointed in that direction.

"I want all of those mayflowers out there with guns and bringing that bug down! We can NOT let it get out into game central station and we have guests that do not belong in this game that could die! Now, on the double soilder!"

"y-yes ma'am!" and with a quick salute, he was running off down the corridor.

"Sarge!" Vanellope called, looking real anxious and scared, even though she tried her best to hide it.

Tamora turned and looked toward the girl, and she just noticed the nicelanders huddling in slight fear, some on their own in just shock, still staring at her. This stare was different; it didn't make Tamora nervous at all. They looked at her like they were counting n her, like they looked up to her almost. Her power.

"I need you all to stay in here, and I'm really sorry about all of this." She said, trading in her pistol with her bigger gun in her dresser, "But I need to take care of this or the whole Arcade is going down. Just stay out of the way and you will be fine. I will protect you if things get out of hand." She cocked her gun and nodded to her flabbergasted guests. Some now looked like they were guilty of what they said.

"Van, stay here"

"But, Cal I-"

"No buts, Wreck it will have a cow if I let you go so you stay!" Tamora shooed the little girl away from the door and caught sight of her sticking her tongue out before she closed the door.

She held up her gun, and then took off in the way that Markowski went.

It was madhouse when she actually got there. Men were running around, trying to catch the rouge cybug, currently screeching under the grip and pile of a few of her men. Unfortunatly, it bucked them off with a mighty and static filled roar.

Tamora froze when she saw it. This cybug was a glitched bug, it was too big, and blue glitches pertruded it when it moved. Half of its armored exoskeleton was cracked and stained.

This would take a while to deal with.

She shook her head as it seemed to eat a few of her men, which would respawn when this thing was destroyed, but it caused her to kick it back into gear. She grabbed a few men running past her and shoved them toward the weaponry room.

"You idiots! We need guns! Guns!"

She moved closer to the bug as it took off overhead, she rose her barrel and shot all over the ceiling, the bug glitching and she missing every time.

She cursed, moving with the bug, backing up as it past her , walking on the ceiling. The bug suddenly launched itself on the ground, flinging behind her, she turned to see it pounce on one of her men, but he was one of the few that had a gun and shot it once in the face and on its legs, it screeched, lifted the man with its mouth and tossing it around as if it was last week's paper. It's glitching increased, but it did not falter as it turned, disoriented, to Tamora.

She growled, making a motion for it to come and get her. She rose her gun and-

"Sarge! SAARRRRGGGEEE! Calh-SWEET MOTHER OF MONKEY MILK THAT'S A BIG BUG!"

Tamora and the bug both snapped their attention to the corridor's where Calhoun came out, Tamora's heart squeezing when she saw the little racer, suddenly in awe of the giant bug. Why couldn't she just stay put for once!?

Tamora noticed the nicelanders piling in behind the girl, taking the fate the same way as freezing and screaming at the sight of the ugly bug. Tamora's jaw almost dropped.

Those little, feminine, nicelander women, actually followed Vanellope out of her quarters. Despite the danger, they were all worried about her? She was shocked. She would think they would stay there, not wanting to get their little white gloved hands dirty.

The bug's screech shook her out of her thoughts, she looked just in time to see the bug jolt forward, with the help of its glitch, and try to devour little Vanellope.

The girl was frozen in fear, not moving from it's spot.

It all happened all at once, Tamora sprinting forward, Mary running forward and grabbing Vanellope's shoulder to try and pull her back. The bug lept and –

SLAM!

Tamora winced and gritted her teeth as she tackled the bug to the ground, gun skittering from her grip. The bug shrieked and writhed beneath her and attempted to start biting her, Tamora yelled and flung punches wildly as the bug got the upper hand, pinning the seargent to the ground. Without her armor on she was receiving scrath and gash after gash, she did not have a prayer but she tried. She had to try.

"CAL!" She heard Vanellope yell in horror; she thought she saw a blur of a different blue glitch and a smaller body holding the girl back.

"RUN! RUN YOU IDIOTS RUN!" Tamora grunted, kicking her legs even though they were crushed under the beasts.

"DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME RUN!"

Pain erupted in her middle and scratches started to burn and sting her very core, her heart beat thundering in her ears was almost loud enough to block out the whirling of the defective bugs razor, drill like teeth.

This was it, she would respawn but possibly after all the damage had been done! Her guests eaten and gone? The whole arcade in danger. She couldn't die now!

Then, it was all quiet, except the clang of a rock hitting the bugs side, it turned its head to the nicelanders and more rocks thrown by the women came flying at the annoyed cybug.

"You brute! Get away from her!"

"Why don't you pick on someone your own size!"

"Come on girls, more rocks!"

Tamora could be shocked later, but now she had to search for her gun. She ignored the dizzy spinning in her head and scrambled her hands all around her, she had to hurry.

"SARGE!" Vanellope's voice, a throw and Calhoun caught the weapon the girl threw. She pointed the gun right in the middle of the cybugs face and yelled to catch its attention, all before pulling the trigger.

Cybug goop flung everywhere, all over the nicelander women and Vanellope of course, but they weren't as bad off as Tamora. It pooled and fell all over her, glitches moved around it for a minute before going still.

The nicelander's groaned in surprised and Tamora tried to still her swimming head. Reality started to catch up with her as she just realized what happened.

The nicelanders helped her. She would have been cybug bait if they hadn't have thrown those rocks. She never knew these 8-bt people had it in them, she sure was wrong. That did not make her nervous go away though, now they were covered and goop and the party pretty much was ruined. This would not turn out good know, even if they helped her or not.

"Cal! Cal!" The raven haired girl was at her side, helping her stand in a moment, followed by a few nicelanders, Mary in front. They looked worried as Calhoun was pushed into a sitting positon, her dizziness coming and going.

"Are you alright, dear? That was a mighty nasty accident." Mary asked.

Tamora rubbed her temples. Then composed herself, sighing roughly.

"I'm fine….I-…." She looked at them all, standing beside her, actually worrying and smiling at her.

"….Thank you."

Mary giggled, "It was no problem."

"no. It was I-"

One of the nicelanders held a hand up, "Now, Tamora, if I may call you that." She motioned with her small hand to her other fellow nicelanders.

"We would just like to apologize. We were very cross and judgmental about you. But…now we see that you are not a rude and uncaring brute, but a kind, brave, and loving young women."

"And, we know understand why Felix loves you so much." Mary smiled and Tamora slowly smiled back.

"Thank you, I….really appreciate it."

"Tammy!"

The group looked up to from their little heart to heart to see Felix sprinting toward them, following behind was Ralph and Markowski, trying to keep up with the speedy handyman.

"Fix it, I-" Despite the sticky bug goop she was coated in, Felix bounded and rammed into her arms, hugging her for dear life with arms and legs. Tamora almost fell back at the force he made.

"Oh Tammy! Markowski told us everything, Jiminy are you aright?! No one's hurt are they?! Are you okay?! Oh Tammy, I am so sorry, this was my idea and I-"

"Fix-it! Fix-it! Shhhh…It's okay…." She rubbed his back as he started to shake, "It's okay Felix, it's not your fault, were fine…Were-"

She paused and glanced up and saw a whole scene, Vanellope was currently being snatched up by Ralph and covered in a huge hug, the wrecker's mouth moving a mile a minute as he yelled not to do that to him again. Markowski was overlapping him, trying to tell Tamora that he had forgotten to tell the men to get guns and went to get her husband instead. He was apologizing and practically begging for his life.

And then she saw all nicelander women smiling at her, some giving her a reassuring thumbs up just to show their approval. They approved, the way some looked at her and Felix, they approved. They knew now that Felix was in good hands, that she would protect him. Just like the nicelander women did with him, in a way.

Tamora smiled softly and gently kissed the now calming Felix on his head.

"…just fine."


End file.
